cosmic creative courage
a reminder to simply think of ourselves less, as a way to become more ourselves.
My two great obsessions are the pen and the stars.
I love writing (even though I feel I don’t write enough). I love astrology (even though I suspect I use it to confirm my own biases at times).
Needless to say, i think about creativity and astrology a lot.
I used to see these two interests as separate. Even when I first got the itch to start writing here on Substack, I felt conflicted with a looming pressure to ‘niche’ down. But anytime I tried to neatly lean into one at the abandonment of the other, it felt like ripping my heart in half when this place is supposed to be about showing up wholeheartedly.
Even in my own creative life, it’s impossible to unspool one from the other. I incorporate astrological archetypes into the stories I write. I give my characters their own natal charts. And lately, I’ve been using astrology to help me tap into my creativity.
Pluto has been taking me on a stunning, creative awakening.
Pluto represents your power and potential. If you look at the house and sign your Pluto is in, you can get clues on how you’re meant to transform in this lifetime. And these transformations, regardless of whether you have Pluto in the 5th house of creativity or not, will always be reflected in your art. Because what we create holds glimpses of who we are and who we are becoming.
With Pluto moving into Aquarius for the next 20 years, there is a clue here about how we can transform our art and express ourselves in a way that not only transforms us but can touch others as well.
In the true Substackian spirit, Aquarius is the sign that represents technology, social media, authenticity and the collective/group over the individual. Substack is all those things wrapped into one. So I’m not surprised to have seen so many writers finding their voice and power on this platform.
And for those writers who are still finding their voice, like myself, sharing your writing online can be a tremendously transformative experience with Pluto (ie. power, potential) in Aquarius (ie. authenticity, community, technology).
Since I’ve been immersing myself in the world of Substack - reading other people’s words, glimpsing into inner worlds, seeing others bravely own their shadows and sparkles - I’ve come to realize the beauty of this space. I see what all the hype is about.
Substack holds some of the most authentic and raw real estate on social media.
And for me, to feel this affinity towards social media, let alone feel called to share on said platform, is far from typical. For nearly a decade, I’ve been a bona fide lurker. Not necessarily by choice - my desire to hide and self-protect had just been greater than my need to share and sadly, greater than my desire to connect with others.
Until recently, I told myself I was simply being humble and mysterious. That my South Node in Leo meant that I was supposed to move away from being in the spotlight anyway (** this is the danger in esoteric tools like astrology, isn’t it? Despite the positives - like self-reflection, self-knowledge, connection to something higher - it has its shadows like anything else. And this darker side can include spiritual by-passing, fear-mongering, and in my case, weaponizing it against myself. But I digress..).
I told myself that selfies were self-indulgent. That I didn’t need to share my life or my art because I didn’t need the external validation. It was only after years of not feeling liberated by the stories I was telling myself - like at all - that I started to question their credibility. Self-righteousness is a lonely place, isn’t it?
Of course, there are many poignant arguments to be made about the dangers and excesses of social media. There’s a shadowy, dystopian energy that exists there too. But having white-knuckled onto one end of the pendulum, I’ve seen the downside that comes with being totally out of touch from a technology / social media perspective, and it isn’t any prettier.
Life is nuanced. And when we go into self-reflection on the questions that sit on our hearts, the answers should be incandescent - they should shimmer in their boundless shades of truths. For a recovering control addict like myself, this can be overwhelming. The way through this overwhelm was to get honest with myself, and face the harsh truth that I wasn’t sharing on social media because a wounded part of me felt unworthy. As if my life, my writing, my self wasn’t worthy of being shared. The irony here (and the hardest of the pills to swallow) was i had gaslighted myself into thinking that i was above ego and vanity, when in fact, it was quite the opposite. Being painfully shy and hiding can arguably be just as egotistical and self-centred.
This is where I find the link to the current astrological landscape interesting. With Aquarius taking centre stage in our collective consciousness now that Pluto will be there for two decades, topics like technology, community, and authenticity are being highlighted. The style of astrology I’ve been leaning into these days is evolutionary astrology - which places importance on Pluto to show us what our soul desires to experience and how it wants to evolve in this lifetime. The sign/house directly opposite Pluto (called its Polarity Point) is also important to look at.
This means, that collectively, Pluto’s polarity point is Leo (opposite to Aquarius). Leo is an individualist archetype whereas its opposite point, Aquarius, is about the collective. So I see this as many of us being able to transform by expressing ourselves in online spaces in a way that is less individualistic and more authentic. (Important to note: it’s not about abandoning one for another - it’s about balance. We must still shine and own who we are (Leo) while harmonizing with the Aquarius stuff. We can do the Leo things - self-expression, confidence, courage - in an Aquarius way).
Seeing my insecurities through this new, cosmic perspective has been transformative.
I’m not surprised that the Jemima Kirke quote resurfaced in popularity recently (Culture Vulture, SYSCA).
I’m not saying everyone who is shy is egotistical. I’m not even saying my own shyness is 100% that. What I’m saying is that, for me, it was incredibly liberating to see my fear of being perceived in this new light. A helpful mantra lately has become (in the most loving way) to just get over myself. It got me thinking What if the best affirmation is no affirmation at all? To simply think of ourselves less, as a way to become more ourselves. To be less in our heads, to become more present in our bodies.
To echo the words of this Reddit response that literally made me lol, no one cares. A profound reminder for me that everyone is scared, everyone feels uncomfortable. Just be brave and do the damn thing.
So I’m feeling ready to let go of my grip a little and swing back to balance. I’m ready to both love myself enough to feel worthy of being seen (Leo), and to think of myself a little less to focus on my art more than my sense of self (Aquarius). I’m ready to write, and share my writing not because it will always feel good to do so - but because there is something beyond what I can rationally comprehend that wants to create. Because this is what feels authentic. As simple as that. And if we’re not using this lifetime to move closer to knowing and accepting who we truly are, then what are we even doing?
I wrote about this in my first Substack article but it deserves to be repeated - you can be scared and still write. And as a woman, there’s an even greater urgency to speak and write. I have experienced firsthand the transformative power of seeing others authentically sharing themselves and that authenticity is healing to me. It sends a powerful message into the psyche of Hey, here I am and I am safe. It is safe to be yourself too. It is a tremendous act of activism and service to take the time to get to know, accept and share ourselves authentically.
The energy of desire which is carried by the archetypes of Pluto / Eros doesn’t go anywhere. If we don’t lean into our desires and allow what wants to be expressed to come through, it will find a way. Whether that be through graceful cooperation or a destructive tower-moment is up to us.
Feeling grateful for this space.
xx
Content Breadcrumbs
Soft Moon Rising : Erotic Voice Workshop - an amazing workshop that helps tap into ‘eros’ energy to find your unique writing voice.
Sabrina Monarque Astrologer : I just recently discovered this astrologer and I’m blown away. She has some of the most eloquent, powerful perspectives I’ve come across in astrology.
Ethereal Astrology : Another Evolutionary Astrologer that I love. I’ve been listening to her new+full Moon forecasts, and her accuracy and depth are on point.
Anaïs Nin : what an icon of a writer. I’m loving her book Henry and June. The way she owns and expresses her emotions has been bringing me to my knees.